Hogmanay 2014

14 has been one of my most incredible years. Countless lessons, opportunities and growth at a rate associated with our teenage years; those mornings awakening to extra height, hips or hair! I’ve achieved all three courtesy of new shows, weight loss (there you are hips!) and hair extensions…nobody said it had to be real hair!

2013 was a helluva year, crumbs I was challenged. I seemed to consistently work on jobs with folks who I wasn’t meshing with; I was bullied, undermined and disempowered. Well let’s be clear, I had a hand in this as I allowed it to happen, I became so exhausted from the consistent onslaught I was emotionally drained and hit my rock bottom. Jagged, cold and at times oddly welcoming I surrendered and for the first time in my life, said ‘guess what? I’m putting me first.’ It felt strange, good and stranger again.

It was unfathomable to me for a particular three-month stint I was being consistently hit by the shitty stick. What did I learn? If your bloody instinct tells you at the start of the job don’t work with these chumps – DO NOT WORK WITH THOSE CHUMPS. Unless people are willing and ready to change, you will not be the person to shift decades of ingrained negative behaviors. There are reasons why people develop in this way; it’s the way they have learned to survive. Snuffing out someone’s light is warm up for these folks. Second lesson, it is fine to say feck off and walk away, then drink lots of wine with your besties. Three, we’re never going to be every body’s cup of tea and thank heavens say I; find your tribe and get the kettle on, otherwise drop it and move on. During this conundrum quarter I kept being me and I dropped a mother load of F bombs, the feck off and the forgiveness variety. I discovered rather a lot about myself, I realized how much behavior I needed to bin and so I did. If there were another way to have undergone the delayering would I have taken it? Abso-fecking-lutely! The world does enjoy a game of adult cat and mouse and so we grow.

This year has been epic, I’m truly blessed I’ve tried countless new things, bit the bullet (not an actual bullet, however being a magicians assistant is still on my list so you never know…) and just given things a ruddy good go. My electric fence is…well I don’t know where it is to be honest…she be gone.

I’m going to commit the ultimate writing sin and jot down a list of lots of lovely things from 2014…

  • Celebrated three years of marriage
  • Reduced my overall weight by 3 stone – yip you read right
  • Lived between London, Paris and Dubai postcodes

There seems to be a theme of three going on here…

  • Got rid of my vertigo – thank you Dubai
  • Evolved the phrase ‘Champagne problems’ with one particularly stunning Dubai addition to my life, you know who you are easel eyes
  • Studied at Le Cordon Bleu and La Cuisine Paris
  • Improved my spoken French (It’s an ongoing journey), nailed my Parisian body language, you think you can tell the difference between a pout, shrug, lip bite, leg cross and blink…guess again my friends.
  • Travelled, Travelled, Travelled…
  • Made friendships quickly and for life, Chen you made my heart bigger, there are also some international kittens who live in there with you
  • Met some of my heroine’s – Gabby Bernstein, Marianne Williamson and Sarah Jessica Parker…ah hello blue eyes
  • Purchased my first SJP and Manolo Blahnik shoes….lush!
  • Reached into my yoga practice on the mat, in the studio and over skype
  • Consciously uncoupled from my and others behaviors which no longer serve me
  • Drafted my first manuscript, this current edit is a tussle of wills
  • Cuddled many a new life, brought into the world safely to wonderful parents I’m blessed to count as friends and family
  • Worked increasingly creatively
  • Developed a programme or two to help folks
  • Attended and immersed myself in the long days of Unleash the Power Within and Business Mastery
  • Enjoyed some of the most exhilarating theatre, art and design
  • Gosh I’ve laughed, I mean REALLY laughed
  • I’ve had one too many glasses of red, white and champagne
  • Slept less than is technically healthy…
  • Found my strength again

I’ve lived and loved harder than even I thought possible. Sure there have been down times, there have been worries, moments which have taken my breath away for terrifying reasons not great ones. I’ve pissed people off; sorry about that, I’ve apologized for my shit, really I’m on a learning curve; I’ve taken my own advice, something folks are coming to me for more and more often, just as well seeing as I’m building a business based on my capacity to help folks. I’ve tilted my head and wondered ‘What the feck is going on in that head of yours?’ Then just not worried about it anymore.

I’ve said yes to lots of cool stuff and no to other cool and mundane things I don’t want to do anymore. There is more than can be written for this allegedly quick wrap up of 2014. In short this year and all of you in it have been out-fecking-standing. I love you all and I am ready for my best year yet in 2015, bring it on you spicy delicious gown of growth, I’m ready and even if I’m not, my heart is open even if there are moments when I squeeze my eyes firmly shut.

Be the best you can be and in the words of an unknown genius, haters gonna hate and potatoes gonna potate.

Connect to Love

Where you do feel love? Are you filled up with love? Connected.

Or does love sit over there somewhere, outside of you, seeking to come home.

Fill up on love today, it’s limitless, there is always enough for all, this is its gift, love asks nothing and gives all, be all your love today and bloom open your heart to receive all the world has to offer for you, just you, because she knows what you need and want, she hears your whispers and is already waiting to gift you fullness with love.

Growth Naps  

I’m sleeping a lot at the moment, even for me and I love a good nights slumber, afternoon nap and eyes closed in the car kinda journey, obviously I’m not driving! I used to think it was because I wasn’t looking after myself properly and maybe from time to time this was true, in the last few weeks I know it’s because I’m looking after myself so accurately my body and mind are on heal, grow and master overdrive. Every second of sleep I have enables me to wake up noticing a difference in my thinking, feeling and own being. I’m listening to what my body needs, my diet has changed it’s simpler, I can’t deny it’s more protein filled, but I need less, little and often appears to be keeping me more grounded, connected, plugged into my environment. I feel a little bit like a stray cat who has found a really great owner and day by day I’m a bit more groomed and glossy.

My dreams are off the chart, beloved Mr S told me this morning I was in full conversation last night, talking as ever about getting organized, nothing changes! I take this as an amazing sign of my mind, conscious and unconscious being aligned. I’m not processing old shit, I’m in the now, working out how to do things with care for me and for the folks I’m blessed to work with.

I’ve shifted, my favourite overused word this year, my thinking, values and standards and in being brave facing the ,at times potentially crushing and overwhelming responsibility of what I’m truly capable of, my life is blossoming. This puts me on the path of others who are also blossoming and it seems to be deflecting those who are not.

It’s an interesting time for all, this week there seems to be discourse, panic at times and worry for some, I want to say to you all chill out. Make the decision you need to make, be honest about what you want and go for it. I’m going lay it out for you, stress is the place you are trapped in when you will not make a decision. I’ll say it again, stress is the place you are trapped in when you WILL NOT make a decision. This isn’t a time to argue right and wrong decision making, as each choice will always take us somewhere, the trick is to make the choice in the first place. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life rotating at the world’s largest crossroads? Hell to the no! We want progress, adventure, positive lives, not gut wrenching personal anarchy created from a mixed message of staying still and digging deeper into our self hatred as sure this is waaaaay better than being out there in the world, listening, living and loving.

I’ve coached and worked with countless wonderful clients this year and seen the same patterns repeat over and over; indecision, personal attacks, self-sabotage, denial that this is happening, then anger and running away as people and their foibles are finally seen. I’ve got more news for you, I see you either way, all of you and you’re absolutely right it can be one of two things, petrifyingly disconcerting, or hallelujah a welcome relief to be recognized. Don’t you want to be seen in all your potential and glory? Don’t you want to live the life you were born to? From the moment your parents held you in their arms they imagined the most incredible world for you, they didn’t imagine a dark room in which you hid yourself, your talents and gifts from the world. So step up people, eat well, sleep when you need it and above all make decisions god damn it, I say this to you as much as I say it to myself. As any writer will tell you, we write what we need to read and I guess I’m making decisions awake and in my dreams. It’s your choice to be free and easy, or stressed and stuck. Choose wisely as the time will come when your beaming love, or darkly lonely.

If I see you at a cross roads I will holler hello and ask where you’re at on your journey. In this question I’m giving you the opportunity to move on, take it, otherwise the centre of the cross roads is home for you, indecision lane is your town and self sabotage your postcode. Big Your Brave today, ask yourself what you truly want, write it down, give it to the universe and take at least one step towards it. Allow the world to create opportunities with and for you, it’s way better than the life feeling like things are being done to you.

Love yourself the way you love others and watch a world of love grow all around you.

Don’t sit back…well if you do sit back, call some friends and get life moving

The other day I wrote about not getting in our own way, to put the idea out into the world and be patient.

I truly believe this.

However I equally believe in the importance of taking daily steps towards what ultimately becomes massive action in changing our standards and the life we want to live. Our heart song as I call it.

The danger of the sit back and chill, is we wait for things to happen for us, then things tend to feel as if they happened to us, because basically we were lazy or perhaps a little grumpy, jealous, unfocused, demotivated, insert as you wish….add to this the danger of the victim state and boom you are in for an unwanted roller coaster ride. I guarantee you’ll hear things like this….

“I just don’t understand why this is happening to me.”
“I’m not a bad person.”
“I want, what you have.”
“I mean, I was really clear and then it all went wrong.”

Everyone understands.
You’re not a bad person, but maybe you’re making some less than great deicisons. Hello self sabotage.
If you want it, go get it, work for it, earn it, love it, be loyal to it and bring it on into your heart.
Were you clear? Or was that an entire chapter of Country and Western songs played backwards? Where you knew it was gonna end well so you messed it up.

Listen, I’ve been there, done that, got the twenty t-shirts. I’ve never wanted what others have, I’ve wanted the understanding of how it works, how they walked their walk and talked their talk. Jealousy is something I haven’t felt since my teams and I genuinely let guilt go decades gone by, I’m not a sociopath, I’m focused on better emotions, most importantly love.

Sure sit back and chill, but whilst your doing it, call a friend or four over, chat about your dreams, make some plans; get out the prosecco and the post its. Dream big, wide, galactic, then decide what you’ll do tomorrow, in fact wait, is there something you can do now?

Yeah there is, whatever you want your life to be it can be; we are limitless, boundless bodies of energy and opportunity. Don’t dull your bright for others, shine at full wattage as you lead the way for others you don’t diminish them.

So plug into your heart song, hear her, then go on y’all pen your ditty, wave your success to the world, as trust me we are an army of light workers, planners, changes, movers, shakers, this is our winter and we shall not be denied.

Scottish Independence

As The Scottish Independence Referendum vote hovers to within a breath away, I’m fascinated as a Celt by the reactions around the world and closer to home.

I’ve never known such interest in my country, nor been asked outright on my views. I say views, really there is only one question, ‘are you a yes or no vote?’

My answer has been ‘It’s not that simple.’ For me there is so much we can’t see, or we are absolutely not being told. There are deals, wheels in motion, contracts and goodness knows what ceilidhing around the political homes of many. Whatever the outcome I’m proud of a nation of people who speak up and say ‘do you know what? This is rubbish, we can do it better.’

In a way isn’t this what we all want for our own lives? To big our brave and stand up for what we believe in. If Mr Cameron and his Etonian besties were to be removed from the street of Downing and the cabinets of others I wouldn’t be sad. I don’t believe our politicians are doing us proud, their best is not mine; I am disappointed in what politics has become.

There is no soul to it, no intelligence, nor entrepreneurialism; it is without conscience. Poverty, health inequalities, crime, rape, domestic violence, challenged education, fiscal integrity are at an all time low and yet there is so much light, so much positive change afoot it is time to start talking about this.

It is time for new thinkers. Our world is not what it once was, our systems are no longer correct for the way in which we live. There is potential for us all to thrive; for pay, educational, health and housing gaps to decrease; for board rooms to be equally balanced with women in power, leadership and creative deliverance from this male approach which no longer works. For this and the next generations to wield new thinking.

Ours is a time of great pain, yes, but it is also a quick moving tipping point. We know the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and achieving the same results, tomorrow is about breaking this habit and shifting for change. Scotland is a wobbly-legged foal standing up for the first time, finding its feet and sensing the support of its mother in her inhabitants and family.

It saddens me to think we as the UK can’t make it work, but equally if you’ve been in an abusive relationship with your lover for umpteen years and you break it off only to discover they’ve moved right next door, I’m not sure this is a good outcome either. There are positives to all options; it is about whether we can progress together or not. Our small islands are steeped in challenge, battle and blood. It’s not so long since the blood shed held itself at bay, but history has not been kind to any of our Celts, Scottish, Welsh or Irish. There is more to the Wallace cry of Freedom than we can understand, it is arguably in the DNA of some people, freedom will always be sought, independence demanded and adventures secured. If I had children I would want to bring them up to understand these values and I would expect no less of the people who took responsibility to nurture and advocate for my interests., my country Is this not a better way to describe a government? To speak of people who ‘run’ a country is antiquated and ego driven. To converse with a team of great thinkers, strategist and producers of change, these are the people I would stand beside. Scotland like a mentor or motivator is looking into the wounds of its people, staring capitalism in the face, telling the parliamentary chorus boys things are not right and I’m very proud of this.

There is so much more to this I know, but as a Celt living in London without the capacity to vote it does leave me wondering about all our futures. If any house divides there are challenges, equally a new approach can be a breath of fresh air and with only a few breathes away till x marks the spot, we’ll see what the new brings and whether we are stronger living together, or living together apart.

A little extra…

People often think their humour is bewitching when it comes to questions about Scotland, here are a few things I’ll tell you for free and perhaps some people might think twice before asking ‘Why do Scotland want to go it alone?’ There truly is so much more to the country than some people understand.

• No I haven’t ever eaten a deep fried mars bar
• No I don’t know who actually invented them
• No I don’t live on Irn Bru (this is a soda drink for those who haven’t met the orange beast and yes I said orange)
• Yes I have a tartan in fact we have a couple as we don’t all come from one single clan
• No, not all men go bare bottomed under a kilt and yes it is rude to check
• Yes I can dance jigs and reels no I don’t do this at home all the time
• Yes I can speak other languages
• No, Gaelic alas isn’t one of them, although I’d love to be fluent
• No we don’t all say och aye the noo. All. The. Time
• Yes I was educated in Scotland, our education systems are fantastic and yes I am a successful product of that system.
• Yes I’m sure I’m from Scotland, this is what some of our regional accents sound like
• Nope, English people are not beaten up in Glasgow just for being English.
• If you act like a prejudiced racist numpty then no I can’t guarantee the fiery souls of a Celt or two won’t advise you of their emotion at that point in time

There are too many achievements, discoveries and inventions to list of Scotland and her inhabitants, across all industries however here are a few:

• The bicycle
• Telephone
• Elecromagnetics
• Radar
• Insulin
• Universal Standard Time
• Field Intelligence
• US Navy
• SAS
• The first purpose built portrait gallery
• Characters such as Sherlock Holmes and Peter Pan

Todays top 10 things, which make me happy…

1. Knowing I’m eating real honey gifted from a local(ish) hive, because honey bee’s suddenly appear in the kitchen.
2. Finding out I’m not quite a bee whisperer yet and therefore negotiating with bee’s is trickier than expected…
3. Finding out because of things like honeybee’s, bird song and my singing to food whenever I cook at any home, my mommy bear tells friends her daughter is a mix of Snow White or Giselle from Enchanted. I suppose added to the fact she calls me baby bear also feeds into my fairytale inspired existence!
4. Vanilla and cinnamon candles…. every day I light one, the house and studio are with deliciousness
5. DFV dresses, a new love and the woman is a genius, hail to the curve (finally!)
6. Post it notes….all colours, shapes and sizes….the joy of scrunching them up when a task is completed is glorious
7. Long hair…well longer hair…after chopping my long hair in the post locks apocalypse that was London Fashion Week A/W 2013 my top knot will soon be reinstated…bliss
8. Clients, I adore thee, you give me all sorts of wonderful things to ponder, solve and squint about whilst finding the road map for you. I salute you.
9. Days off, I’d like one, a whole one from waking to slumber with nothing but joy sandwiched in between. I remember what they are…I think…the next one will involve mimosa’s and possibly spending the day people watching and nibbling tasty treats on the deck of somewhere like London’s Charlotte Street Hotel…
10. Being able to write a list of things, which make me happy. I’m ever so grateful life, thank you.

Not writing is hard….

It’s been a few weeks since my last piece and it is really, REALLY hard for me not to write, explore and comment on my world. I’m drawn to the keys, the stories play out in my head, I see so much more now because I’ve began to observe in a different way. I’ve listened to what I’m being asked to look at.
We are a funny old species, loving all things on hangers and shelves, filmic and sugar filled at times, drawing duvets further over our heads as we’re too tired/hungover/unmotivated/ill/sad/toxic with whatever we have agreed to hang in our cells, we wage war across umpteen self-inflicted borders, attacking one another, our children, which is unforgivable, experimenting on innocence in children whose voices are not yet defined never mind presuming they may have the strength to speak up and call out. We focus on cures, not prevention; pharmaceutical industries play the pied piper to disease after disease, creating more unrest, fear and guilt.
I’ve had to curb my news watching and listening for a short time; it’s in danger of breaking my heart, my light and me. This is its intention and our producers of ‘newsworthy’ sensationalism are alas part of the issue of consistently terrorizing and belittling our connections. Of course we need to understand what is taking place in with our neighbours, but what if we were to understand all the deeds done my our kind, what then? News was once upon a time neither good, not bad, it was just news, today it is inevitably or things poor, which we perpetuate. There is much good in our world we need to seek more of this to heal, help and prevent further destruction of our species. Now is our tipping point and for others and I the reason we are in such a reactive flurry is because there are now more of us on the side of peace than ever before, working away in all the dark curves of the world. We are the change we want to see in the world and we are making change, there’s a tiny glitch in the matrix in that where stories of peace and wonder should be are you tube clips of cats and cute things; don’t get me wrong I enjoy a cat clip as much as the next person. Just imagine if all the millions of views and sharing were for peace, for the truth of where we could be living. Isn’t that newsworthy? Something to ponder perhaps.
For every act of ill will, there are umpteen acts and stories of light, joy, perseverance and positive change, the only difference is, somewhere a team of folk decided a time ago this isn’t what people wanted to know about; tap into their fears and play there, that’s the way to communicate with the world. Is it indeed? I beg to differ; in fact I differ loudly, not only on a soapbox, but standing shoulder to shoulder with the millions of people working for and in a peaceful world. There are lots of words and names associated with such work and interestingly for those humans with increased layers of skepticism and indeed fear that there is good in all, these lovelies are likely to act out the most. They will be the nay sayers, the teasers, the eye rollers, the arm folders, the grimace faced of all your tribe and it is here our tests begin.
For me I see the good and light in all, I also see fear, concern, suspicion, but then again I see more most, not all, but certainly most of those of I meet. I see this simply because I look. I read a facial tick or fleeting mood behind the eyes in the time another would blink and potentially miss it. I read the neck itching, the internal abdominal jump and change in temperature as easily as others notice they are hungry. I hear shifts in tone; recognize when someone is using their words and when someone is speaking another’s, I feel discomfort, awkwardness and joy as if they were jumpers I was layering on. There are many people more tuned into these tiny tells than I and I aspire to move towards a greater capacity for this level of observation. People read me in lots of ways, I see the struggle to identify with my openness at times, I’ve taken a lot of crap from people who don’t like to be seen, but they can’t work out what it is about me. My approach is to see things as what they are, things or situations, which are neither good nor bad. Again don’t get me wrong there can be good or bad situations, but sometimes if you define it, you name it, make it real and make it harder to move on from. If you want your life to improve we can make this happen, if you want to keep living in fear and feeling shit you go ahead, enjoy that bed of thorns, let me know how that works out for you. No-one will thank you for it, least of all you; what if you’re hear to do something amazing, the niggling feeling in your gut telling you that you’re destined for greatness is real as are your ideas, dreams, hopes.
We share two very definitive and simple fears. The first I’m not good enough, the second I don’t deserve to be loved. From here everything spirals up and out into one world or another. We may live and share one planet, but we are each living in very different worlds created in part by our experiences and the duality of experiences that the current decision makers wish us to live. Say yes to your gut not a conflicted politician.
I’ve been told many things and will continue to be; I hold many stories in me, they are amazing, courageous and brave. I’ve been gifted much joy and I work for it as well. The people I know inspire my life, my stride from point A to be B, they make me want to continue to improve, be stronger, fleeter of foot and creative, to love fully, live truly and always connect. When you step out into your world today see the good, find the joy and switch the news over, pop the kittens down for a minute and search out a good news story, check out what wonders your species is achieving. Be the change you want to see in the world.

Positive Days Challenge Day Five, the final three from me to thee

I’ve loved this little challenge, I don’t think challenge is the right word to be fair it’s more of a gift than anything and today I can enjoy nominating three people to enjoy this present.
So as far as this writing goes here are my final three…

1. Waking up already listing what I’m grateful for, add to this my hands were also in prayer position and you have yourself someone with a new positive gratitude habit baby.
2. Yoga, I’m off to see my teacher for a 121 today and I am eternally grateful for the lessons I’ve learnt thus far and continue to learn. After the weekend I’ve realised how very far I’ve progressed and it has renewed my energy for consistent primed action steps. I’m grateful to all my teachers, guides and mentors, thank you all.
3. Love, love, love, all of it filling my heart and body, my life, home, relationships, writing, business, health, wealth; tumbling, spilling, spiralling, swirling, floating, connecting all of us together.

With love in mind I am showing myself further self care and will be signing off from writing for a couple of weeks as I’m committing to editing my debut book, Love Perfumes Inside Here; writing and editing at the same time are like being pulled by willful horses in opposite directions and I’m giving myself permission to stay still and enjoy the editing process. It’s a little like being engaged to be married; you need to enjoy every second as the fiancé stage is over in a jiffy.
Watch this space dear ones, the book, she is arriving very soon and I hope you love her as much as I do.

Positive Days Challenge Day Four

A Sunday, filled with experiences and learning, some of which I don’t necessarily have to repeat…
Today, the three things I am thankful for are,

1. Car Boot Sale in the South of London; today I witnessed more miracles in seconds than I thought possible. The short version of this morning is Mr S and I packed up the car to head out and enjoy selling items we no longer had use of. As soon as we entered into what can only be described as the gladiator pit of boot/yard sales our goods and we were swarmed upon. Human after human came clambering ant like onto the goods, the car, into the vehicle, into our space and further inside our own private space. I was surprised and overwhelmed, flabbergasted and joyful, it was bloody amazing to behold. The turning point was when somehow someone had found my bag and emptied it, and then they brought all my stuff to me including my phone and various bits and bobs. ‘ How much do you want for this stuff?’ She asked. ‘ Oh,’ I replied, ‘Um actually that’s all mine.’ Quick as a tribe can gather a circle of women defending me gathered around me. “That’s the girls things.’ Said one. ‘ Good God, ‘elp her out.’ Said another. ‘Listen girl look after your things you silly girl. ‘ere we’ll ‘elp you.’ And so it was that a group of strangers became my matriarchs and they watched out for me as vulture after vulture swooped in to grab, peck and potentially steal; these kind strangers held me in their hearts and protected me; from a car boot sale. Yes you read it right, from a car boot sale. Moral of the story? Be who you are, heart and eyes open and folks will help out if you let them.
2. Donating to charity post car boot sale, always a gift and a blessing
3. Digging up the carrots you are going to eat in 15 minutes with a friend in their garden. Delicious.
Blessed be on this Sunday, until tomorrow day five.

Positive Days Challenge Day 3

Day Three

I kid you not it is really hard for to only nominate three things a day I’m grateful for, I can’t say it’s always been this way, well I’ve always been thankful, just not as consciously as I am now blessed to be. I wonder what life is like without gratitude and loving mindfulness; I know I’ve come along way when I consider these elements of my life. Where once I read many meanings into the things people said, now I read none, I enjoy conversations at face value, if I think there’s a duality to the words I ask for clarity. I’m celebrating how far I’ve come in designing and shaping and shifting my life, it’s a full time job, but what a job; beautiful, loving, generous of spirit I’m letting my soul shine bright. Give it a go and be the change you want to see in the world.

Today, the three things I am thankful for are,

1. A long lie as it’s Saturday, which wasn’t actually a massive long lie as I woke up at 8.30, it’s more the fact it’s the weekend and I didn’t have to be awake if I didn’t want to.
2. Home made maple syrup pancakes with roasted banana and French roast coffee. Yum.
3. Playing in the park with my beloved. As in swinging from trees on gymnastic rings, hugging trees and sitting cross-legged on mamma earth watching the world go by. Bliss.

Happy Saturday, until tomorrow.